Teary September :(

Baby of mine,

September is usually a month filled w/ a lot of fun and excitement. However, this year, my favorite month was far from that due to an unexpected ailment!

The last few weeks have been a true test...physically, mentally, & emotionally. I was truly scared out of my mind on the afternoon of September 10th...I had very intense pain come on very suddenly in my back and my first thought that something was wrong and I was losing you. I was enjoying an afternoon of pampering...another prenatal massage and then a mani/pedi at one of my favorite nail salons when all of this pain came over me. I could barely make it to my car and once I was there I was in such terrible pain I was crying and just doubled over. I knew something was wrong and I was in trouble.

I was able to finally drive to meet w/ your daddy and he then took me to the ER. We soon discovered that I was suffering from kidney stones...and thankfully they checked your heartbeat and you were doing just fine! My worst fear was not happening after all and in my mind I knew that I would happily suffer through anything as long as you were ok. Although, I was hurting so much it was a relief to find out the reason. They did an ultra sound and sent me home on pain medication that they assured me was safe enough during pregnancy. Unfortunately, there is very little they can do when you are pregnant - - I just needed to buckle up and be prepared to pass these horribly painful stones!

Unfortunately, sometimes this can take anywhere from hours to weeks. I was so hoping after a couple days I would be back to feeling good. No such luck...I was admitted to the hospital 4 days later. I was in so much pain...worried about you...and didn't know if there was possibly something else going on. My doctor thought it best to have me admitted and to have a urologist look me over. Long story short, they ended up keeping me for 3 days...we had to have an xray and I was put on morphine to keep the pain at bay. The doctors taking care of me assured me this was acutally pretty safe considering how far along I was and that I could do more harm to you by the stress my body was going through w/ being in so much pain. Also, they felt it very important to make sure there wasn't anything else going on. The conclusion was that they were convinced I had kidney stones as my right uterine track was definitely pinched and it appeared it could only be that or a growing baby getting in the way. They suggested that I get a stint put in, and unfortunately that would require for me to go under anethesia for that procedure.

I really did not want to go that route unless completely necessary. They wanted to do the procedure right away but I was able to convince them to give me a couple more days and see if the stones would finally all pass. I was able to go to oral meds and then 2 days later I stopped taking the meds completely. I was still in pain but I was determined to see if I could bear through it ...truthfully the pain was still there but not as intense. A few days later, I went back to work to keep my mind busy and see if I could get through the day as normal. By the next week, I was feeling 100% better. I think they finally passed...and I was able to avoid having the stint put in. Which is what I prayed for every day. I just felt like you and I had been through enough and even though the pain meds were available to me I took them very conservatively. I wanted to be back to feeling good and focused on the happiness of YOU!

Through it all, sweet little one, your daddy was UNBELIEVABLE! Wow, I've never been more convinced on how lucky I am to be so loved by this good good man. And how very lucky and blessed you will be to know him as your father. He will love you so unconditionally. He has a heart full of selflessness and he genuinely cares for us both. While I was in the hospital he never left my side - -he slept two nights on a very uncomfortable recliner chair! He endured me getting checked over by nurses every 3 hours throughout the day and night. He handled all my phone calls and kept everyone important to us in the know as far as what was going on. He helped me to work a wedding while I was doubled over w/ pain and on pain medication...he is my rock...my real life knight in shining armour! I'm so lucky soooooo sooooo soooo lucky to be the receiver of this man's love.

In a few hours from now...we will find out if you are a boy or a girl! If you are a boy, I hope you that you will have a heart just like your daddy. I hope you inherit his kindness, loyalty, and integrity. If you are a girl...I will always pray that you will grow up to find a love as pure and as real as what your daddy and I have. I will pray that you will have a patient heart to seek God's best...and hopefully you will be spared a lot of heart ache and disappointments along the way.

We'll be happy to find out either way....but your daddy is convinced that you're a girl!

xo mommy