Baby of mine,
September is usually a month filled w/ a lot of fun and excitement. However, this year, my favorite month was far from that due to an unexpected ailment!
The last few weeks have been a true test...physically, mentally, & emotionally. I was truly scared out of my mind on the afternoon of September 10th...I had very intense pain come on very suddenly in my back and my first thought that something was wrong and I was losing you. I was enjoying an afternoon of pampering...another prenatal massage and then a mani/pedi at one of my favorite nail salons when all of this pain came over me. I could barely make it to my car and once I was there I was in such terrible pain I was crying and just doubled over. I knew something was wrong and I was in trouble.
I was able to finally drive to meet w/ your daddy and he then took me to the ER. We soon discovered that I was suffering from kidney stones...and thankfully they checked your heartbeat and you were doing just fine! My worst fear was not happening after all and in my mind I knew that I would happily suffer through anything as long as you were ok. Although, I was hurting so much it was a relief to find out the reason. They did an ultra sound and sent me home on pain medication that they assured me was safe enough during pregnancy. Unfortunately, there is very little they can do when you are pregnant - - I just needed to buckle up and be prepared to pass these horribly painful stones!
Unfortunately, sometimes this can take anywhere from hours to weeks. I was so hoping after a couple days I would be back to feeling good. No such luck...I was admitted to the hospital 4 days later. I was in so much pain...worried about you...and didn't know if there was possibly something else going on. My doctor thought it best to have me admitted and to have a urologist look me over. Long story short, they ended up keeping me for 3 days...we had to have an xray and I was put on morphine to keep the pain at bay. The doctors taking care of me assured me this was acutally pretty safe considering how far along I was and that I could do more harm to you by the stress my body was going through w/ being in so much pain. Also, they felt it very important to make sure there wasn't anything else going on. The conclusion was that they were convinced I had kidney stones as my right uterine track was definitely pinched and it appeared it could only be that or a growing baby getting in the way. They suggested that I get a stint put in, and unfortunately that would require for me to go under anethesia for that procedure.
I really did not want to go that route unless completely necessary. They wanted to do the procedure right away but I was able to convince them to give me a couple more days and see if the stones would finally all pass. I was able to go to oral meds and then 2 days later I stopped taking the meds completely. I was still in pain but I was determined to see if I could bear through it ...truthfully the pain was still there but not as intense. A few days later, I went back to work to keep my mind busy and see if I could get through the day as normal. By the next week, I was feeling 100% better. I think they finally passed...and I was able to avoid having the stint put in. Which is what I prayed for every day. I just felt like you and I had been through enough and even though the pain meds were available to me I took them very conservatively. I wanted to be back to feeling good and focused on the happiness of YOU!
Through it all, sweet little one, your daddy was UNBELIEVABLE! Wow, I've never been more convinced on how lucky I am to be so loved by this good good man. And how very lucky and blessed you will be to know him as your father. He will love you so unconditionally. He has a heart full of selflessness and he genuinely cares for us both. While I was in the hospital he never left my side - -he slept two nights on a very uncomfortable recliner chair! He endured me getting checked over by nurses every 3 hours throughout the day and night. He handled all my phone calls and kept everyone important to us in the know as far as what was going on. He helped me to work a wedding while I was doubled over w/ pain and on pain medication...he is my rock...my real life knight in shining armour! I'm so lucky soooooo sooooo soooo lucky to be the receiver of this man's love.
In a few hours from now...we will find out if you are a boy or a girl! If you are a boy, I hope you that you will have a heart just like your daddy. I hope you inherit his kindness, loyalty, and integrity. If you are a girl...I will always pray that you will grow up to find a love as pure and as real as what your daddy and I have. I will pray that you will have a patient heart to seek God's best...and hopefully you will be spared a lot of heart ache and disappointments along the way.
We'll be happy to find out either way....but your daddy is convinced that you're a girl!
xo mommy
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
3 months in...2nd trimester here I come!
Sweet Little One,
daddy and I got to see you again today! It's such a relief to have them turn on the tv and use their magic wand and then get to see you. I can not feel you yet so I just hope and pray everyday that you are doing well and growing and developing like you should be. Today we got to see that you are getting bigger...but you are still super super tiny. You are starting to take on the shape of a little baby though...no more gummy bear. :)
Your heart beat is nice and strong and you are measuring perfectly where you are supposed to be at this point. What a blessing! A thousand thank you's to our heavenly Father - " Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." ~ Psalm 127:3 I'm in awe at how HUGE this experience is - -everyday I can't believe how lucky I am to have a small part in this miracle of life.
I'm looking forward to taking a small trip w/ your daddy to Florida in a couple days. It will be a "relaxcation" for me and I just really need some down time and just really soak everything in more. A slower pace for five days sounds wonderful! I plan on sitting by the pool and reading, ordering room service, having my first prenatal massage {now that I'm far enough along}, and maybe one day go to Disney World w/ daddy. So far the nausea has subsided quite a bit but I'm still feeling tired and very little energy. It may be b/c I'm still trying to keep up a pretty busy pace - work is crazier than ever, and still trying to juggle Twinkle & Blush as well as maintain a little bit of a social life. It's been tough but from what I hear the next trimester will hopefully have me feeling great w/ lots more energy.
But for now...I'm sooo going to enjoy some sunny down time w/ my little teeny tiny baby bump.
xo, mommy
daddy and I got to see you again today! It's such a relief to have them turn on the tv and use their magic wand and then get to see you. I can not feel you yet so I just hope and pray everyday that you are doing well and growing and developing like you should be. Today we got to see that you are getting bigger...but you are still super super tiny. You are starting to take on the shape of a little baby though...no more gummy bear. :)
Your heart beat is nice and strong and you are measuring perfectly where you are supposed to be at this point. What a blessing! A thousand thank you's to our heavenly Father - " Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." ~ Psalm 127:3 I'm in awe at how HUGE this experience is - -everyday I can't believe how lucky I am to have a small part in this miracle of life.
I'm looking forward to taking a small trip w/ your daddy to Florida in a couple days. It will be a "relaxcation" for me and I just really need some down time and just really soak everything in more. A slower pace for five days sounds wonderful! I plan on sitting by the pool and reading, ordering room service, having my first prenatal massage {now that I'm far enough along}, and maybe one day go to Disney World w/ daddy. So far the nausea has subsided quite a bit but I'm still feeling tired and very little energy. It may be b/c I'm still trying to keep up a pretty busy pace - work is crazier than ever, and still trying to juggle Twinkle & Blush as well as maintain a little bit of a social life. It's been tough but from what I hear the next trimester will hopefully have me feeling great w/ lots more energy.
But for now...I'm sooo going to enjoy some sunny down time w/ my little teeny tiny baby bump.
xo, mommy
Monday, July 18, 2011
February 22, 2012
We had our first ultra sound this morning. So for the first time we saw you...our little miracle in the making. Wow...my heart could hardly take it all in...tears of happiness were just flowing down my face. Your sweet daddy was just as awe struck and just was captivated by your little wiggling body. You look like a little gummy bear right now...and even though so very little...I think you're just about the cutest thing I ever saw.
Now it's so very real to us. I'm excited for each week and each little mile stone of growing you. I can't believe I get to experience this...so grateful!
We saw a lot of family over the 4th of July weekend and that is when we shared all about you. We got grandpappy a tshirt that read, "I'm going to be a grandpappy again". You'll be his 5th grandbaby! When he opened his gift and read the shirt everyone just exploded in claps and cheers...they're all so excited to learn about you. It was heart warming to share the news...but we're keeping it just in the family now. Another month and we'll be able to let more friends and family know all about you :)
So your expected birthday is February 22, 2012. Seems so far away but I hope to enjoy every second of this journey w/ you, and hopefully you'll be here before we even know it. An interesting fact, is that your daddy had a due date of Feb 22 but he was born early...on Valentine's day! Whatever day you arrive will be the best day!
So far in the pregnancy, I have felt only some slight nausea but more than that I am just extremely tired! I'm so used to having a lot of energy, which is necessary b/c I tend to keep a busy calendar. But I have just not felt like doing much and have been ready to call it a day as early as 7pm - so not typically me. Your daddy, as always, so caring towards me gets me crackers and ginger ale first thing in the morning before I even try to get out of bed. This helps the nausea to subside so that I can get ready for work in the morning. Once I can get that conquered I'm usually fine - except for the tiredness. Nothing I can do for that but rest as much as I can. I haven't really felt like eating much either, nothing sounds appetizing! Which is really weird b/c I always thought when pregnant you wanted to eat all the time and had weird cravings. So far that is not the case - far from it! I always needed to start my morning w/ a cup of coffee but now I can't stand the sight nor the smell of it. Which might explain the tiredness too ( light bulb!) doing w/o caffeine is definitely a big change for me. I'm not complaining though....all of this is so worth it. I'm relishing in all the changes and experience of this miracle. God is so good...I'm grateful every second!
You're in my heart and my soul...can't wait to see your beautiful face.
xo mommy
Now it's so very real to us. I'm excited for each week and each little mile stone of growing you. I can't believe I get to experience this...so grateful!
We saw a lot of family over the 4th of July weekend and that is when we shared all about you. We got grandpappy a tshirt that read, "I'm going to be a grandpappy again". You'll be his 5th grandbaby! When he opened his gift and read the shirt everyone just exploded in claps and cheers...they're all so excited to learn about you. It was heart warming to share the news...but we're keeping it just in the family now. Another month and we'll be able to let more friends and family know all about you :)
So your expected birthday is February 22, 2012. Seems so far away but I hope to enjoy every second of this journey w/ you, and hopefully you'll be here before we even know it. An interesting fact, is that your daddy had a due date of Feb 22 but he was born early...on Valentine's day! Whatever day you arrive will be the best day!
So far in the pregnancy, I have felt only some slight nausea but more than that I am just extremely tired! I'm so used to having a lot of energy, which is necessary b/c I tend to keep a busy calendar. But I have just not felt like doing much and have been ready to call it a day as early as 7pm - so not typically me. Your daddy, as always, so caring towards me gets me crackers and ginger ale first thing in the morning before I even try to get out of bed. This helps the nausea to subside so that I can get ready for work in the morning. Once I can get that conquered I'm usually fine - except for the tiredness. Nothing I can do for that but rest as much as I can. I haven't really felt like eating much either, nothing sounds appetizing! Which is really weird b/c I always thought when pregnant you wanted to eat all the time and had weird cravings. So far that is not the case - far from it! I always needed to start my morning w/ a cup of coffee but now I can't stand the sight nor the smell of it. Which might explain the tiredness too ( light bulb!) doing w/o caffeine is definitely a big change for me. I'm not complaining though....all of this is so worth it. I'm relishing in all the changes and experience of this miracle. God is so good...I'm grateful every second!
You're in my heart and my soul...can't wait to see your beautiful face.
xo mommy
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
OH Happy Day!
I'll never forget the afternoon of June 14th, 2011. For the first time in my life there was a real possibility that I could be pregnant. I was afraid to hope too much and my heart was so comfortable w/ the doubt that I was certain that the test would show up negative. Imagine my complete and utter surprise when I saw two pink lines show up, a positive indication that you were inside of me...a dream that was going to become a reality. I can not articulate perfectly the variety of emotions that I felt when I saw those two pink lines...it was so overwhelming that all I could do was break down and cry. The biggest emotion that I felt was of breathtaking gratitude. I remember thanking God immediately over and over. I wanted to have faith that this would someday happen for us but I never let my heart believe fully that it would.
Since that day I have never been the same and I know that I never will be the same again... and it's amazing and wonderful to experience all of this! We are so excited...beyond words excited!
The first person I called was your Aunt Tosha. Eleven years prior, I was fortunate to be there while she took her first pregnancy test and found out that she was pregnant with your oldest cousin Grant. It was just as surprising for her then and I was so thrilled to share that with her. So immediately, I thought of her and wished she were here to witness all of this w/ me. So I called her and she let out the biggest cheer of excitement, she can not wait to meet you! She will be a great Auntie to you. After a few minutes, I realized she was not alone hearing all of this - your Mimi was there too! So she got to hear the news of YOU that day too. Of course, your counsins Grant & Zach were there as well (and they hope that you are a boy :)) They all promised to keep the news a secret from grandpappy and the rest of the family until we all get together next month for Fourth of July weekend. Even Grant & Zach promised they would not say a word...you are a very cherished secret at the moment.
Now, your Daddy was at work so technically he was the 6th person to find out about you. LOL that was not my intention. But you don't always think very rationally when you find out the biggest news of your life. So I wanted to think of a creative yet sweet way of letting him know about you. I knew he would be over the moon happy but also so very very very surprised. When he came home that night I had posted a sign on the back door that read, "Welcome Home Daddy!" I wish that I had taken a picture of his face when he walked through that door. Such sweet, sweet surprise...stunned surprise would probably be a better description. I showed him the two pink lines and we just held on to each other. In all of my life, I've always felt loved, but never as much as I felt loved right then. We had a quiet evening of just talking and digesting what your pending arrival means to us and what steps we need to do in the near future to start planning. We also called your other Grandparents and let them know the good news. They live in California so as we were not going to be seeing them over the summer we knew we had to let them know about you right away. They are so thrilled! You will be so very loved!
The count down begins little one....you will be here with us next February. Our very own little Valentine baby! We simply can not wait!!!
Love, Mommy
Since that day I have never been the same and I know that I never will be the same again... and it's amazing and wonderful to experience all of this! We are so excited...beyond words excited!
The first person I called was your Aunt Tosha. Eleven years prior, I was fortunate to be there while she took her first pregnancy test and found out that she was pregnant with your oldest cousin Grant. It was just as surprising for her then and I was so thrilled to share that with her. So immediately, I thought of her and wished she were here to witness all of this w/ me. So I called her and she let out the biggest cheer of excitement, she can not wait to meet you! She will be a great Auntie to you. After a few minutes, I realized she was not alone hearing all of this - your Mimi was there too! So she got to hear the news of YOU that day too. Of course, your counsins Grant & Zach were there as well (and they hope that you are a boy :)) They all promised to keep the news a secret from grandpappy and the rest of the family until we all get together next month for Fourth of July weekend. Even Grant & Zach promised they would not say a word...you are a very cherished secret at the moment.
Now, your Daddy was at work so technically he was the 6th person to find out about you. LOL that was not my intention. But you don't always think very rationally when you find out the biggest news of your life. So I wanted to think of a creative yet sweet way of letting him know about you. I knew he would be over the moon happy but also so very very very surprised. When he came home that night I had posted a sign on the back door that read, "Welcome Home Daddy!" I wish that I had taken a picture of his face when he walked through that door. Such sweet, sweet surprise...stunned surprise would probably be a better description. I showed him the two pink lines and we just held on to each other. In all of my life, I've always felt loved, but never as much as I felt loved right then. We had a quiet evening of just talking and digesting what your pending arrival means to us and what steps we need to do in the near future to start planning. We also called your other Grandparents and let them know the good news. They live in California so as we were not going to be seeing them over the summer we knew we had to let them know about you right away. They are so thrilled! You will be so very loved!
The count down begins little one....you will be here with us next February. Our very own little Valentine baby! We simply can not wait!!!
Love, Mommy
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Spring 2011
Your dad and I just had the most amazing vacation - a dream of mine for a long time now has been to travel abroad. Of course, w/ the possibility of having you soon, it would not be feasible to try to plan a trip like this w/ a baby here or on the way. So we had planned this trip back in November of last year to make it happen. We went to London England and it was during the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton - such an exciting celebration to spectate and be caught up in - I have so many stories of this wonderful time to share w/ you one day. Your aunt Ashley & uncle Scott went w/ us and it was 10 days of plenty of adventure. After a few days in London, England we then, well, your daddy & uncle Scott went and rented (and drove) a car so we could travel to a beautiful English coastal town - St. Ives in Corwall, England. (The driving part was super scary but quite hilarious at the same time...definitely lots of pics and stories to share about that too :0)) Cornwall is a place I always read about growing up in different novels and I always, always, always, wanted to visit. Such a special time to get to share this adventure w/ your daddy...we had so much fun. Lastly, we spent our last few days in Paris, France. By far my favorite of the trip...the food, the sights, the romance...it was so memorable.
We had hoped that we would bring home a very special sovenier of our dream vacation...YOU! But it's not to be ...just yet little one. We are trusting in God's perfect timing and so hope for you, but we are keeping busy and daddy and I are just enjoying each other...we know alone time and expensive vacations will be a thing of the past once we have you in our lives. So we want to enjoy it and take it all in...but we can't wait to share our lives w/ You!
This past weekend we planned a little getaway to Wilmington, Wrightsville Beach. Everywhere I looked I noticed little babies...they caught my attention like never before. I never really felt an ache for you as much as I did then...I pray we have faith that God will bless us w/ having you. I can totally envision us ... a family of 3... at the beach w/ you.
Maybe next summer.
xo mommy
We had hoped that we would bring home a very special sovenier of our dream vacation...YOU! But it's not to be ...just yet little one. We are trusting in God's perfect timing and so hope for you, but we are keeping busy and daddy and I are just enjoying each other...we know alone time and expensive vacations will be a thing of the past once we have you in our lives. So we want to enjoy it and take it all in...but we can't wait to share our lives w/ You!
This past weekend we planned a little getaway to Wilmington, Wrightsville Beach. Everywhere I looked I noticed little babies...they caught my attention like never before. I never really felt an ache for you as much as I did then...I pray we have faith that God will bless us w/ having you. I can totally envision us ... a family of 3... at the beach w/ you.
Maybe next summer.
xo mommy
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Why Can't Everyday Be Like CHRISTMAS?!!
Sweet Baby,We had such a nice Christmas! Your Daddy & I spent the whole day together - just the two of us. It was wonderful. The only thing that could have made it better is if you had been there w/ us...but soon hopefully you will be!
I simply adore Holidays! I love the celebrating, the good food, the good cheer, the fun of it all. I believe you can always find a reason to celebrate. I can't wait to share that with you....life should be filled with as much joy as possible. Daddy & I stayed the entire day in our pajamas! We watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and ate yummy food all day long...it was a cozy kind of day with lots of love! The best part was tonight when it started to snow!! :)
Tomorrow we get to see Mimi & Grandpap and Aunty Ashley & Uncle Scott and of course your cousins Ava girl & Gav Gav!! You have the cutest cousins in the world...they can't wait for you to come into the world too! We love you...even now, mommy
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